she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
