Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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