have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
