My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
