Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
