i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
