they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
