Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
