so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
