Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
