i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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