I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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