Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize