My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
