She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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