Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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