yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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