I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
