The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
