i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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