Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
