He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
