either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
