We got so high we made milksteak
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
