Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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