I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
