yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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