i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
