It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
