i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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