I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
