so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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