it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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