Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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