She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
