When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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