whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
