i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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