Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
