it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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