just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
