i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
