how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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