omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I FOUND THE LEGS
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
