I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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