the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
