i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
