I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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