She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
