I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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