She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
