Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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