Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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