I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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