Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
