How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I understand Curling. That high.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
